Frustrated.

I'm almost 5 months post op and I just got out of bandages a couple weeks ago, today I wake up and I'm back in bandages again. My last surgery was such a mess, I can't wait to have it fixed, but it will be at least July before that can happen since I have surgery again March 1st. The incision keeps getting ulcers and getting red and splitting. I'm tired. Urgg.




I just took this, doesn't it look horrible for 5 MONTHS later?!

Next surgery...

Had my pre-op appt. today. My next surgery won't be until March 1st. Its a good thing! I was rushing to do my next surgery because the resident surgeon that I adore is leaving at the end of Jan. However, she has agreed to come back on March 1st for my case, and may even be getting a permanent position at MCV. I'm so happy! The reason for the delay is I was supposed to have a double mastectomy. I was literally losing sleep and it truly scared me. She told me at the beginning of my appt, that she was going to do everything she could to prevent that from being reality. She took pictures of my chest, and went to talk to some other surgeons. Luck have it, the HEAD of plastic surgery at MCV was there. He looked at the photos and said he would take my case with her. They came up with a plan, and they will be doing a different procedure. Basically they will remove the lower part of my breast, and the center area, then they will remove the fat from my upper stomach area (liposuction) and pull the skin up and form that skin into new breast. I will be deformed looking and have horrible scars going across my breast, but I will still have a shape to look closer to normal in clothes. Its going to be a pretty radical surgery, but its a heck of a lot better than removing them. I'm still terrified, I have no idea what to expect, but its comforting knowing that the head of surgery and my favorite resident will be working on me. I'm nervous now, I can't imagine how I'll feel in Feb!

She also looked at my botched last surgery (which she didn't do) and said she is going to make sure it is taken care of. Which means 2 reconstructive surgery sites to fix what the last surgeon did. The way it has healed is why I keep getting ulcers on the incision. I really hope she gets the permanent job there, she really has my best interest at heart, which is rare with me and doctors, and this damn HS.

Here are a couple pics of the BOTCHED job.



Not a great angle but you can see the "fold" in the arm pit, which is where the ulcers keep popping up.



This is my arm at the front where he sewed me together and it left a large lump, there is also one on the back on my arm, which I obviously can't take a pic myself..lol.

3.5 week post op

I'm a little over 3 weeks post op and after a trip to the hospital a couple days ago, I'm feeling much better. I was having a rough time so they removed my last drainage tube. OMG did it hurt. I've had several drainage tubes removed now but when they pulled this one out, it seemed like a eternity, I know everyone in the hospital heard me scream, when I looked at it, it wasn't like any of my other drainage tubes, it was square, huge, and it was about 9 inches inside of me, I seriously hope I never have to get a drainage tube like that again. But now that it is out, its amazing how much better I feel. I'm still extremely sore, and hurt, but overall, I feel like a different person. Where the tube was inside of me I was having pain, they had it positioned going up my back, and boy my back hurt, I'm still sore on my back, but it is def. getting better. I have quite a few weeks left of healing, but I believe I'm over the hump. I drove today, not well, lol. I had to go get my prescription from the drug store not even 5 mins from the house, but it hurt, and I won't be doing anymore driving for a while. I wouldn't be able to react quickly if something were to happen, it was painful, and just not worth the risk. I took my 2nd shower the other night, and did a lot better, so I'm going to start showering instead of bathing in the sink, which is nice! I go back to the surgeon in a few days, and hopefully they will think things are doing better. I have a small infection under my arm, they think its a yeast infection...haha...so I'm using creams and powders, but it itches like crazy. I've been taking 2 benadryl 3 times a day, so I'm very sleepy most of the time. Think I might drop down to 15 mg of morphine this coming week, but I'm not sure I'm ready for that, I want off of it, but I don't want to be in tremendous pain either. Hope my 5 week update will be even better.

2 weeks post op pic

2 drainage tubes gone, 1 to go.

1 week post op pics

SURGERY 2 LEFT AXILLARY AND TORSO

left arm torso

Surgery Tomorrow

I'm getting the nervous jitters. I was so scared for months for my first surgery but this time I didn't think about it much until the last couple days. All day today I had this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen, I didn't have that before. I literally thought about canceling surgery several times today. Everyone says listen to your gut, but this would be major to back out last minute, and I need to get it done. I just hate having this feeling the night before major surgery. I hope everything turns out okay, obviously. I can't believe its time to go through hell again already. I at least know what to expect now, but the first few days are incredibly difficult. Sometimes I wonder why I'm putting myself through this. The HS came back within 2 months before. I guess I just don't know what else to do and I feel I need to be proactive in treatment instead of just throwing in the towel and deciding to be miserable and in pain for the rest on my life. I'm not a perfect person but I don't think I deserve this hand I've been dealt.

I hope things go well tomorrow and healing is easier than last time.