Halloween

While all my family and friends are getting geared up to celebrate Halloween, today is one of those days, that I lay in bed and cry. Halloween isn't considered a "big" holiday, but when you have nothing but time on your hands to think about how much your life has changed, holidays period are a big deal. I wish I had the energy or strength, or even desire to go and celebrate, rather it be dressing up and going to a party or taking my friends kids trick or treating. These are things I used to do. With all the pain, and medication, simple things are hard to do, and to even imagine, a full night out...brings to much anxiety. What makes me even more sad, is that I have alienated all my friends to the point, they don't even invite me to do things anymore, because they know I won't/can't. Still the invites were nice. I'm just bummed and in a mood. I hope everyone has a great Halloween!