4 days post op updateit

Just wanted to update for myself really. Put it in writing. I can't believe its only been 4 days, seems like I've been drowning in pain for much longer. Doctors said it would get worse before it gets better, they were right. The swelling hasn't stopped, and the bruising gets worse by the hour. I'm just ready to be off that ride, and get on the healing train. I'm still in agony but my body has adjusted to the pain, I don't scream in anguish everytime I stand up, although it feels the same I'm adjusting, inside I still scream. I've gotten the nicotine patch so that I don't have to go up and down the stairs everytime I need a smoke, I still do a couple times a day, but thats because I go down to get food or a drink and I smoke, but I'm down to only a few a day, and no I don't plan on quitting, its simply because it hurts to go down the steps. So ya'll who know me, know I'm in pain if I'm giving up smoke breaks lol. Every surgery I end up doing to much to soon, I had a bit of that the day after I got home, and paid for it. I have to remember that I'm on pain meds that are doing their job. Just because I feel a bit better doesn't mean I am, just means I'm staying on top of my meds correctly. Dr. said stop taking a dose and see how ya feel. Ummm. no thanks. I'm on so many meds, it keeps me very out of it and loopy. I don't mind, I sleep all the time, but that is good for my body. I have my first post op on monday, will see how that goes, I'm a little worried, thats when they do their poking and prodding and pulling me every which way, sucks. They will adjust my meds then, or just write the same things. The Ativan has been a life saver it really helps me sleep and keeps me from crying every 5 minutes which I needed, the crying only made me hurt worse, but I couldn't stop. Its a very emotionally and physically thing to face so my tears aren't unjustified. Anywyas just rambling to my self, I'm slipping off into sleepy land right now, so I'll write more later. Bur before I go, I have to say that the HS community, my HS family, my family, and my friends have been nothing but amazing. I appreciate all the kindness and love. It keeps me going. Love you.