Can you hear me SCREAMING?

All I do is complain, I know everyone is so sick of it, dammit I'm sick of it too, but I sick of feeling it even more. This surgery has become a nightmare. I formed two ulcers one under each breast so I've been having to do dressing changes. Well during a dressing change on Thursday night, as soon as we took the bandage of it looked like a horror film it started spewing this yellow liquid and blood mixture everywhere, the moment we put a new THICK bandage one, literally within sec. it was saturated. So we scrambled to get some clothes on me, and bandage it up thick then mom ran to get ready and off to the hospital, by the time we got to the hospital, which at night only took maybe 10 mins, it had soaked threw all the bandages, my shirt, my coat the arm of my coat, it was everywhere. Luckily, since I looked like I just came off the set of a horror flick, or was just shot, they took me back immediately. I'm not going to go through all the crap they did and didn't do at the hospital, but in the end, they took the drainage tubes out to early at last weeks appointment. The fluid didn't have anywhere to go, to it formed some type of pocket, and then it found a opening at the ulcer to have the fluid burst out of. Nice, right. They told me I'd just have to keep bandages on it. Luckily the burst only lasted about 6 more times, now we are down to just a steady leaking, out of BOTH breast ulcers. So I"m having to change bandages on each breast about every hour. Its horrible. On top of that the moisture from this liquid has made the ulcer openings larger. The one on the right is probably almost a 3 inch opening now. All my pain meds where wonderful at first, but now they aren't touching a thing, I had already lowered some, and not going to up them again, which means they are going to have to find something else to help. I don't know what else, but something. I'm in constant horrible pain. I just want to cry all the time, but I honestly have no tears left. Friends all made visits last weekend, so of course I'm alone this weekend and might be for the next 3 months. I hope someone comes back. But I understand I'm not fun. This sucks right now. Maybe I'm just looking for sympathy, but who cares, wouldn't you in my position?. I think I'm just looking for empathy cause right now I just feel so lost, so alone, so sad. I knew this wouldn't be easy, but I never imagined it would be this hard.